Below is a list of questions we get asked most by couples and families.  Should you have a question which is not addressed here, please click HERE and submit your question via the "Contact Us" form.  We will respond within 24 hours in most cases.

***Please Check Back Often As More Questions & Answers Are Always Being Added***

LEGAL QUESTIONS

Can Alternative Unions legally perform a Wedding, Same-Sex Ceremony, or Civil Union?

Yes.  As a legally ordained minister of the Universal Life Monastery, Reverend Chuck Gianakos is recognized by the State of New Jersey as a legal Wedding Officiant.  Chuck's knowledge of wedding and civil union ceremony preparation, performance, interfaith spirituality, and teaching comes from my near two decades of professional church work as a youth and young adult pastor, Christian Educator, and worship leader and my skills obtained by my Spiritual Director training.

It is my belief that God created this existence and all things in it.  And God would not do this if indeed God did not enjoy and love this creation.  Therefore God's love and presence abides in us; in our hearts.  If two people love each other from the heart and see each other through God's eyes, the way God loves us, this love then is Holy, true, and blessed.  For me, it is not about gender, race, creeds, religions, or orientation, but about loving someone the way God loves us.

Is a Same-Sex Ceremony or Civil Union legal in the State of New Jersey?

Yes.  Alternative Unions would be honored to unite you and your life partner under the recently enacted NJ Civil Union Law.  Effective February 19th, 2006, the State of New Jersey recognizes Civil Unions.  According to New Jersey State law, those who can officiate a marriage or civil union are any Federal, State, Municipal Judge or Magistrate (even if they are retired), any county clerk, any mayor or deputy mayor of a town, and Chairman of any township committee, any religious minister of any church.  As a minister of the Universal Life Monastery, I can legally perform your ceremony according to your wishes.

Same-sex couples do not need to reside in New Jersey in order to have a legal New Jersey civil union.  Couples residing in other states can travel to New Jersey to legally affirm their relationship!  You must understand your union will not have any of the rights in your home state afforded to same-sex couples residing in New Jersey.  However, for many couples, it is important and meaningful to have a legal document stating your relationship is recognized and sanctioned somewhere in the United States.

Does Alternative Unions perform Renewal Of Vows or Affirmation Of Love Ceremonies?

Yes.  Alternative Unions would be pleased to create a ceremony to show your love for your partner.  You can apply for a new marriage license showing proof of your existing marriage to have the renewal on record, if you wish.  The 72 hour waiting period is waived for vow renewals.  It should be known that Affirmation Of Love ceremonies are not legally binding, but rather are meant for those wishing to express their love and dedication without the legal nature of Marriage or Civil Unions.

Do we have to have a witness or witnesses at our ceremony to make it legal?

In the case of Marriage or Civil Unions, the State of New Jersey requires by law that two witnesses sign the Marriage or Civil Union licenses.  The licenses are routinely signed at the close of the ceremony.  If you do not have witnesses, they may be provided for you for a small fee.

How do we obtain a Marriage/Civil Union License?

Please click HERE to be taken to the New Jersey State information site for Marriage licenses and HERE for New Jersey State Civil Union licensing.

Is a "Handfasting" ceremony legally binding?

No.  Traditional "Handfasting" ceremonies are not viewed as a legally binding ceremony.  By Celtic tradition, a "Handfasting" is more like a betrothal or engagement where the couple is meant to be joined for one year in order to asses their ability to be joined in marriage.  While "Handfasting" itself is not a legally binding ceremony, it can still be a meaningful and joyous occasion much like the now popular "Sand Ceremony".  Also, if you prefer, a wedding or civil union ceremony can be designed in the style of a "Handfasting" or any other cultural tradition you may want to incorporate into the ceremony.

CEREMONY QUESTIONS

Can we write our own vows?

Yes you can!  Alternative Unions is also able to provide pre-written templates, or help you create your own vows, as well as any other portion of the ceremony.  This goes for any of our services including wedding ceremonies and/or civil unions and commitment ceremonies.

May the wording of the pre-written templates be changed at all?

Alternative Union's customized ceremonies may be worded exactly as you like.  If you choose one of our pre-written templates, minor editing or changes may be made…no problem.

Will we know what Reverend Chuck is going to say before the ceremony?

Yes.  You have complete control over what goes into your ceremony.  The only elements required by law are that the couple state their intentions to marry or unite publically, two witnesses be present and sign the license, and the Officiant pronounce the union.  All other elements of the ceremony are completely up to you.

Are there any restrictions regarding flowers, candles, sand, ribbons, or any other elements of special cultural or religious traditions?

No.  However, any objects, unity candles, holders, flowers, sand for sand ceremonies, ribbons for "Handfasting", or any other elements of special cultural or religious traditions must be supplied by the couple, their own families, or friends.  Alternative Unions will not be held responsible for supplying any of these items of any kind.

Are there any music restrictions that will interfere with music or songs we may want in our ceremony?

Alternative Unions welcomes your input into the selection of music for your ceremony.  Since it is your special day, you should have music which is meaningful to you.  Alternative Unions encourages you to choose whatever music suits your tastes as an accompaniment to your processional, recessional or as background music.  Alternative Unions is more than pleased to work with your musicians and/or DJ to incorporate their services into any aspect of your ceremony.

What are the rules regarding photography/videography during the ceremony?

Alternative Unions wants you to have the best possible photos and videos of your glorious day.  We are "photo & video friendly" and have no restrictions on the use of flash photography, video spotlights, or the positioning of the photographers/videographers during your ceremony.

Are there any restrictions regarding ceremony attire?

No.  Alternative Unions has no restrictions whatsoever on ceremony attire.  We are open to performing themed ceremonies of any kind to which we'd expect both the guests and the couple to be in costume.  We are also open to wearing attire suited to your theme.

What about religions?  What is a Non-Denominational Minister?

Reverend Chuck is a Minister of the Universal Life Monastery.  He accepts people of all races, genders, creeds, orientations, and religions.  Reverend Chuck believes firmly in this and the freedom of all to practice as they wish.  Any religious aspects you wish to include in your ceremony are yours to cheish.  If you do not wish to have religious aspects included in your ceremony, and would prefer either a spiritual or completely secular experience, Alternative Unions is happy to be of service.  The slogan of the Universal Life Monastery is "To Live and Help Live".

What are the policies on Interfaith Marriages?  Can Alternative Unions combine two religious ceremonies, or have other clergy officiate with you jointly?

Alternative Unions welcomes couples who may be religiously or culturally diverse.  In order to satisfy multiple religious traditions, we can blend a variety of religious and ethnic elements into a very beautiful and meaningful ceremony, performed by one single Officiant or in partnership with another.  The details need to be worked out ahead of time, so couples should not wait till the last minute to incorporate this.

What about location?  Are there any restrictions as to where Alternative Unions will perform our ceremony?

Alternative Unions will be happy to perform your ceremony anywhere you wish as long as your state laws permit (ie: Marriage laws differ from state to state) and you have all appropriate permissions or permits for the location.  Where your ceremony is held is entirely up to you.  That includes the beach, a park, a rented hall, or your own home (although we need to take under special consideration any request that has Reverend Chuck jumping out of airplanes, bungee jumping, or anything to do wtih putting his life on the line).

Can my or my partner's children, family, and/or friends participate in our ceremony?

Not only can Alternative Unions incorporate children, family, and friends into the ceremony, we would encourage it.  What better way to bring children, family, and friends participating in your glorious day closer together than to have them be directly involved in your ceremony!

ADMINISTRATIVE QUESTIONS

Does Alternative Unions require premarital counseling or "Pre-Cana"?

Pre-Cana is a tradition of the Roman Catholic church.  It is the belief of Alternative Unions that if two consenting adults love one another and want to share that love through marriage or union, they certainly do not need Alternative Union's or anyone else's permission to do so.  It is however a good idea for you and your partner to discuss things like finances, household responsibilities, sex, children, sprituality, friends, relocations, and careers before you say your "I Do's".  There are many books as well as professionals who can help guide you through the process.  But the most important thing, as in all things in marriage, is to communicate with each other, have an open mind, and an open heart.  Reverend Chuck and Alternative Unions can arrange premarital counseling of either a biblical or secular nature at the couple's request.

Do we need to meet with you before the wedding for administrative purposes?

It is possible for Reverend Chuck to orchestrate the ceremony by way of telephone and email contact.  The decision is entirely yours, but we highly recommend at least one meeting with the couple and one rehearsal gathering with all parties involved.  It would be nice for Chuck to meet the couple and get to know them one-on-one in order to prepare a well-tailored and personal ceremony and gathering.

RESERVATION AND PAYMENT QUESTIONS

How far in advance should we book Alternative Union's services?

In general, when you book your ceremony site, you should book your Officiant next.  Popular dates are reserved a year or more ahead of time.  Six to nine months in advance is common, keeping in mind that other couples are also booking ahead.  If Alternative Unions can accommodate you on short notice, we definitely will.  Please do not be afraid to ask!

Does Alternative Unions use contracts?

Yes.  Alternative Unions uses contracts in order to protect our clients and ourselves.  The contract specifies when and where services will be performed, the fees involved, and when those fees are due.  The deposit is due at the time of contract signing.

What are the fees for Alternative Union's services and what is included in these fees?

Fees vary as Alternative Unions offers may different ceremony packages from basic pre-written ceremonies to fully customized ceremonies which you help create.  To request a price quote for a particular "package", click HERE and complete the "Contact Us" form with the requested information.

What are Alternative Union's terms?

After we contact you with a price quote, we will require a deposit of at least 50% of the total as a reservation fee.  The balance will be due at the rehearsal or just before the ceremony.  The deposit may be paid in cash, by check, or by money order.  Alternative Union also accepts credit card payments through special advanced arrangements.  Any payment made within two weeks of the ceremony must be in cash.

What if something happens and Alternative Unions cannot attend the ceremony?

While such an event is highly unlikely and would be avoided at all costs, Alternative Unions can make arrangements for someone else to perform the ceremony.  Your ceremony script is finished at least two weeks in advance, so it will still be the ceremony you designed and/or requested.

Is it customary to tip the ceremony Officiant?

It is not necessary to tip the Officiant, but gratuity is always appreciated!  Alternative Unions and Reverend Chuck also kindly ask and very much appreciate a photograph of the couple and/or the offer of a reference.  A nice note or card is always appreciated.  It is all entirely up to the couple and how they feel.